-Monday, June 11, 2012 ' 4:30 PM Y
I ♥ HelloKitty
To be honest, I don't let myself expect too much from you anymore. I just don't want to give you anymore chance to let m7.e down and disappoint me any further.
I try to make up excuses for you as to why it's so hard for you to come meet me. It's always the same old reason- work. I know you have to work I try to understand that you cannot be there for me 24/7. But it's just so hard for me to continuing coming up with excuses for you. I mean I alrdy tried so hard to understand your situation and think from your point of view. But who's gonna think from mine? Definitely not you right?
I guess I just don't wanna be alone that's why I'm still holding now..
If you forget our monthsary in 2 days' time, I'm not going to forget you. Though I won't be surprised if you did since you made plans to go out with your friends instead. You said we would spend this monthsary tgt, yet when i asked you to take leave, you just said you'll try. Then in the end you're going out with your friends instead. I told you I was busy cos you obv didn't had the initiative to ask me out. You just have to choose to take leave on the day when I'm not free. You could have suggested we hang out some other time, why take leave on a day when I'm not free?!
Ask you come find me before work, you say you have to go gym. After work also not free, cos you gotta go gym. Fine i get it. Work #1, gym #2, friends #3. Me? I don't know. Maybe in the top 10 or 100.
I wish I can tell myself it's really okay I don't give a fuck, but I can't do it. It still sucks to be neglected. & rejected when I take the initiative to ask you out. But what can I do?! If I don't ask, you won't ask me out! But not asking means no chance of rejection. That's prolly better than asking & then rejected.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just too clingy. But is it too much for a girlfriend to want her boyfriend to ask her out? Don't have to go on fancy dates, I just want us to spend time together.. But I guess sometimes I just don't get what I want. I'm not alone..
Perhaps I don't matter.
