Is that wedding bells I hear?

Lately babylove's been talking about marriage. Just today, you brought it up twice alrdy. In the past hour..
I was reading bryan's dogs' blog & wasn't really paying attention when suddenly i hear ".. wait for you finish studies then we can get married" & I was like huh.. You carried on by asking " Would your mummy let if we get married." I said no & you laughed it off and said you don't care since you not marrying her.

You hung up accidentally but you called me back, during which you said you'll call me again after work but you asked me not to wait up for you. I asked why and you said cos you take 30mins to go home you  later I tired. You asked me to sleep early. Then you said, " Wa talk like we husband & wife"

Just this afternoon, I told you that sometimes I think we've got no future tgt" You called & scolded me, saying I was sprouting nonsense.. :/

Even since that night after Beer Market, the night I asked if you wanted me to let go, if you wanted me to disappear form your life, you've been treating me better.. That was the one time I can remember me being so important to you. The 1 time you actually show that you're scared of losing me..
That night was that 1 time I really was so tired of feeling sad, I felt numb enough to ask you that. Other times I would have been afraid that your answer would be to ask me to leave, instead of holding me back..

I don't need any birthday presents from you. Stop giving me memories so that it'll be easier for me to forget you.

Today I feel like I'm in love all over again. For once I feel that there's no more gap in between us.
Going out on a date today was the perfect make-up for all  that happened!
Today, it felt like you never let me go.. You held my hands, hugged my waist and just kept me so close to you.. Except for when you're playing with the exhibits, rest of the time you were holding onto me.. Even when I walked off to look at exhibits on my own, you would come and hug me from behind and give me a kiss on my head, cheek, neck or ear. Love it when you did that! I love getting hugs from behind, eeks! ^^

You went one whole day w/o calling me. Fine. Maybe you'll say but you whatsapp-ed me, we got talk. Okay.
It was supposed to be our day yesterday. #1 you didn't spend it with me. #2 you didn't call me.
Not say i never call you, i called you twice. But both times you were in th cinema! Worse is you didn't even call me back afterwards. Were you so busy enjoying with your friends you forgotten about me?
I guess so.
Not only did you not spend ytd with me, you forgotten about me. Great. Just great.

To be honest, I don't let myself expect too much from you anymore. I just don't want to give you anymore chance to let m7.e down and disappoint me any further.
I try to make up excuses for you as to why it's so hard for you to come meet me. It's always the same old reason- work. I know you have to work I try to understand that you cannot be there for me 24/7. But it's just so hard for me to continuing coming up with excuses for you. I mean I alrdy tried so hard to understand your situation and think from your point of view. But who's gonna think from mine? Definitely not you right?
I guess I just don't wanna be alone that's why I'm still holding now..
If you forget our monthsary in 2 days' time, I'm not going to forget you. Though I won't be surprised if you did since you made plans to go out with your friends instead. You said we would spend this monthsary tgt, yet when i asked you to take leave, you just said you'll try. Then in the end you're going out with your friends instead. I told you I was busy cos you obv didn't had the initiative to ask me out. You just have to choose to take leave on the day when I'm not free. You could have suggested we hang out some other time, why take leave on a day when I'm not free?!
Ask you come find me before work, you say you have to go gym. After work also not free, cos you gotta go gym. Fine i get it. Work #1, gym #2, friends #3. Me? I don't know. Maybe in the top 10 or 100.
I wish I can tell myself it's really okay I don't give a fuck, but I can't do it. It still sucks to be neglected. & rejected when I take the initiative to ask you out. But what can I do?! If I don't ask, you won't ask me out! But not asking means no chance of rejection. That's prolly better than asking & then rejected.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just too clingy. But is it too much for a girlfriend to want her boyfriend to ask her out? Don't have to go on fancy dates, I just want us to spend time together.. But I guess sometimes I just don't get what I want. I'm not alone..
Perhaps I don't matter.

L Charell
25 July

HAPPILY EVER AFTER
Hard Disk
Slimming Treatment Package
Bikinis!
Heels

Cbox Please! :DD